Monday, May 4, 2009
Raising Parents - Chapter One
My parents are in their early 80's - and are doing remarkably well - but sometimes you have to wonder ......
My dad will call and leave a message "Call me when you have a minute." But you better call fast, because if you don't he will call you back. If you answer, his first question is "Did you get my message?"
"Why didn't you call me back?"
"I haven't had time yet."
click - he hangs up. So you call back.
"Sorry, my cell dropped your call." (Trying to be nice!)
"No, I hung up. You said you were busy."
"Well, I was, but now I'm not. (I had to stop what I was doing to call you back) "What did you want?"
"I was wondering if you knew if it was going to rain Saturday."
"No, Daddy, I haven't seen the weather since I got to work today."
"Well, OK. Let me know when you find out."
click. He never says goodbye. When he's through talking, he hangs up.
Now, you might think this is the end of the conversation. Nope. You'd better find out because if you don't he call back - in 10 minutes!
My mother, on the other hand, is so worried about bothering you.
"Are you busy?"
"Well, I don't want to bother you and this will only take a minute, do you have time to talk to me?"
"Sure, Mom." (I just lost track of what I was doing anyway.)
"I'm so sorry to be such as pest; I know you are busy, but I just didn't know what to do. Are you sure I'm not bothering you?"
"No, Mom." (But you're starting too!)
"Well, theres alot of smoke in here and I think my house is on fire. Can you come home and see?"
"NO! I'M AT WORK AND IT WILL TAKE ME 20 MINUTES TO GET THERE. CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT."
"No, the house is a mess and I don't want them to see it like this. I'll see if I can find it and put it out."
"NO!!!! PLEASE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! THEY DON'T CARE!!!!
"Oh, yes, they will. Wait! (OH! OH! OH! heard faintly in the background. Is she overcome by smoke? Is she on fire? What is going on????) ................................ I found it. I forgot my breakfast was cooking on the stove. There's no fire, just lots of smoke. I'm so sorry I bothered you. Did you get breakfast? I can bring you some if you didn't have time this morning. I just made a pan of oatmeal - it's not burnt too bad."
Yes, mom just what I want after an early morning heart attack - burnt oatmeal.