Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Grief

Yesterday I told you about my friend, Diesel. Today I want to tell you about Diesel's friends. I am totally amazed and blown away by these kids. For the most part Diesel hung out with 18-21 year olds. Kids who have never had to experience anything like this before. I heard someone say yesterday that these children don't know how to grieve so that's why they are doing "strange" things. I say, adults needs to step back and learn from what these "children" are doing.

Car window paint is the rage of the day. Messages to Diesel adorn every window. They tell the world they are proud to be Diesel's friend, they love him and they miss him. The colors are loud - they are shouting their loss to the world - but the paint is temporary, and so is their pain. They know that as the rain washes the paint away, their pain will diminish also.

They also are getting stickers made - In Loving Memory - that will be more permanent; a lasting tribute to their friend, Diesel. Because he will always be in their hearts and minds. The pall bearers and friends will wear t-shirts to the funeral with a photo of Diesel's truck and messages on the back. "Throttle Jockey" was one of Diesel's stickers on his truck and now it adorns several t-shirts. "One Shot, One Kill!...Git U Sum" was another Diesel trademark. They wear these shirts to proudly proclaim their love for their friend.

There is also a little vengeance on their minds. The tree that Diesel hit is now logs headed for a bonfire that will be held to say goodbye this weekend. While it may seem a loss of a good tree, these kids were amazed and the amount of nails, old crosses, and ribbons they found while cutting the tree. Yes, it has been stopping cars and lives since I was a child. Now, at least a car will have a clear shot to an open field if they miss this curve.

Some have learned that words spoken in anger or spite sometimes can't be taken back. Petty disputes can last forever and aren't really worth it. A true friend loves you to the moon and back.

They are planning to give a memorial tree to Diesel's grandparents. They are organizing food for after the service. They are investigating options for Diesel's truck. They really want to repair it and then give it back to the grandparents so they can keep it or sell it. However, if it is beyond repair, then they know the value of the parts and will help the family make sure they get what it is worth. They have already stopped some of the parts from disappearing and others that were gone have been returned.

Yes, these kids are grieving and hurting. But they are wearing that grief proudly and openly. Time will ease their pain and their lives will go on. Each one with a touch of Diesel.



PS. Being kids, they have been forbidden from 'hanging out' at the majority of places in our town. However, the local Steak and Shake has been very hospitable, giving them a place to park their trucks, rev their engines (within reason), and bond together. Managers and waitresses were at the hospital and are watching over these kids as they work through their grief. I want to thank them and let them how much I appreciate their kindness.


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